How To Be Confident
1. Alter the way you talk about yourself – all of us have incessant mind chatter that we barely notice, but this chatter can radically how we behave and how we feel. Being mindful of the background messages your mind is creating for yourself is the first step to being more confident. Are you often criticizing yourself, talking yourself down or repeating negative things others may have said to you? It’s a really easy trap to fall into.
A good way to start to counter act any negative self talk is to look yourself in the mirror each morning and verbally, out loud, express positive and warm thoughts to yourself. Yes I know it sounds a bit weird but it works! The key is to do it regularly and to look yourself in the eye when you do it.
If you have low self confidence this can be quite intimidating and can trigger emotions. Stay with it and keep telling yourself positive things about who you are.
2. Make a list of all the positive things you have done that day (and sometimes that can be as simple as getting out of bed!). Each day write them down so at the beginning of the next day you have an instant list of the things that you did well at.
Whenever you are feeling down or that you aren’t good enough, drag out these lists and receive a positive hit of encouragement from yourself.
3. Do your homework – the key trait to doing well in academia and generally in most areas of life, is not natural intelligence, but the trait of conscientiousness. Do do your homework on any new task you might have to do and this will give you confidence to be able to accomplish it.
Keep at it and in no time you master the new skill. Don’t expect yourself to pick things up straight away, but be gentle with yourself. You might say things like “I didn’t quite get that part right, but I did better in these areas than I did last time, and next time I’m sure I will be successful.”
4. Gratitude .. ah yes, gratitude and giving thanks for all the things you do have. This is not only one of the quickest short cuts to feeling happy, but also to being more confident about where you are in life.
It can be as simple as watching the sunrise in the morning or the kindness of your friends, but seeing that you have a full life already will help you feel that you have a solid foundation for whatever else is coming your way. Positivism will always stand you in good stead when you are facing new circumstances or challenges.
5. Make a strategy on how to tackle something. This will help you feel that you have more control over a situation and a handle on how your are going to tackle it. Write it down step by step and this will give you a checklist on facing it.
Sometimes certain situations can be overwhelming, but if you break them down step by step and focus on just taking the first step, that will often help you feel more confident and assured. It also gives you a sense of accomplishment as you check things off your list as you go.
6. Get rid of clutter! Living with a mess can seriously mess with your brain, waste your time and make you feel disorganised and confused, both big confidence busters. So take a few minutes each day to clean up your home and office space, make the bed, clean the dishes, put away the clothes, throw out old memos… whatever it is that you need to do to have an organised clean space around you.
You will be surprised just how quickly you fill feel more self assured.
7. Listen instead of listening to talk. Really tune in to what others are saying instead of focusing on yourself.
Be sincere in your interest, ask questions. This will give you information to act on whatever you think might come up and give you a complete picture of whatever issues you need to tackle.
8 Altruism – again another quick path to happiness and to boosting your self esteem.
Giving to others, not just physically but there are many ways you can give that don’t involve money, is key to psychological well being. You can donate your time, talents, whatever you can offer, and it is a quick way to gain instant confidence.
9. Inspirational stories – if you are feeling a lack of confident and unsure of yourself, then reading a biography of someone who has overcome great odds or watching a movie can be an easy way to build confidence.
Knowing that others have faced greater hardships than you and overcome bigger obstacles can mean you see your problems or challenges in a more realistic light.
10. Exercise – one of the best ways to bolster confidence is to move, even if its just going for a long walk, or heading to the gym.
Many psychological studies have shown the positive effects of exercise on the brain in a myriad of ways. Instant feel good and doing something that you are good at physically will give you the confidence to tackle new challenges.
Pampering yourself can also be a great way to boost your confidence, and a massage that helps you relax might be a good idea if you have exams coming up or a big presentation. Lowering your cortisol levels, which massage does effectively, may help you feel that you have the resources to tackle the challenge and help you not to stress.