Why Won't My Massage Therapist Massage Me?
You are desperate for a massage, search Google and find a massage therapist nearby with great reviews.
You call to make a booking and, after asking you a few questions, the therapist says they can't massage you.
Or perhaps you book with your favourite massage therapist, arrive for your appointment and they tell you they'll need to reschedule your treatment for another day.
So why do massage therapists sometimes turn down a booking?
There are quite a few reasons. Sometimes massage may not be appropriate because of a health condition. Sometimes the treatment you want is outside the therapist's training or scope of practice. And sometimes they're simply fully booked and aren't taking new clients.
After more than 20 years working as a massage therapist, I've had to say no to bookings for all sorts of reasons. Here are some of the most common ones.
Contraindications To Massage
There are some health conditions and situations where massage may not be appropriate, may need to be modified, or may require medical clearance first.
Sometimes this means your therapist won't massage you at all. Other times they may simply avoid a particular area, use gentler pressure or change the type of treatment.
This is why a professional massage therapist will ask about your health, medications, recent injuries and any medical conditions before your treatment.
Massage is a really powerful thing to do to your body, there are lots of ways that massage has a strong effect on the systems of your body.
Colds, Flu And Fever
If you are ill, have a runny nose, fever or sore throat from a cold, it is unlikely your massage therapist will massage you. Primarily because they don't want to catch what you have!
If you come down with any of these, it's polite to call your therapist, let them know, and reschedule for another time. For massage therapists, we can't work remotely from home when we get sick, so us catching what you may have will impact all of our bookings and clients for the next week.
Also, having a massage while you are face down with a cold is not fun. Your sinuses will block up even more and you will be uncomfortable the whole massage. Whilst we can clear your sinuses with massage while you are face up, coughing and sneezing through a massage is not enjoyable for you or your therapist.
From a health perspective, massage stimulates your immune system. When this system is already working hard to fight off the flu virus, having a massage will put more stress on it. It can make you feel worse, more tired and congested. Give your body a break, and let it fight off the infection before you go get a massage.
Blood Clots And DVT
This is a really important one to tell your therapist about.
If you have a known or suspected blood clot, particularly a deep vein thrombosis (DVT), your massage therapist should not simply go ahead with your massage.
A DVT is a blood clot that forms in a deep vein, most commonly in the leg. It is a potentially serious medical condition and needs proper medical assessment and treatment.
Signs of a DVT can include pain or tenderness in one leg, swelling, warmth or changes in skin colour. If you have symptoms like these and don't know the cause, don't book a massage hoping someone can massage the pain away — speak to a health professional.
If you've recently had a DVT or pulmonary embolism and would like to return to massage, talk to your doctor or treating healthcare professional first about when massage is appropriate for you and whether your treatment needs to be modified.
It's also important to tell your massage therapist if you're taking blood-thinning medication, as this can make you more susceptible to bruising and may affect the type and pressure of massage that's appropriate.
Fragile Bones
Osteoporosis causes bones to become weaker and more fragile, which means they can fracture more easily than healthy bones.
Having osteoporosis doesn't necessarily mean you can never have a massage, but your massage therapist needs to know about it before your treatment begins.
If you have osteoporosis that is quite advanced, massage may not be for you. Although therapists do not massage bones or manipulate the spine, deep tissue massage, or massage that involves a lot of stretching, may cause injuries to the brittle bones.
Depending on the severity of your osteoporosis, your therapist may need to use gentler pressure, avoid strong or deep techniques over vulnerable areas and take extra care with your positioning on the massage table. Direct pressure over bones affected by osteoporosis should be avoided.
If you have severe osteoporosis, have recently had a fracture or aren't sure whether massage is appropriate for you, speak to your doctor or treating health professional before booking.
When massaging in an aged care facility, it is important for therapists to gain a full medical history of their client to ensure that no harm is done. Instead a very soft style massage maybe okay for these clients, but it's important to gain a GP or specialist approval beforehand.
And don't be tempted to leave osteoporosis off your health history because you're worried your therapist might refuse your massage. Tell us. It doesn't necessarily mean we can't massage you — it means we can make an informed decision about whether massage is appropriate and, if it is, how to adapt your treatment safely.
Pregnancy When It Is High Risk
Being pregnant doesn't automatically mean you can't have a massage. Pregnancy massage can be a lovely way to relax and make your changing body feel more comfortable, provided the treatment is adapted appropriately for pregnancy.
However, your massage therapist needs to know that you're pregnant — even if you're in the early stages and aren't showing yet.
Pregnancy changes how we position you on the massage table and may change the pressure and techniques we use. As your pregnancy progresses, pillows and bolsters can be used to keep you comfortable, and lying flat on your back for extended periods is generally avoided later in pregnancy.
There are also situations where your therapist may ask you to speak with your doctor or midwife before having a massage.
This is particularly important if you have a high-risk pregnancy or are experiencing complications such as bleeding, abdominal pain, high blood pressure or other medical concerns. Australian pregnancy-massage guidelines recommend medical clearance where the health of the mother or baby may be compromised.
So if your massage therapist asks questions about your pregnancy or occasionally says they need medical clearance before going ahead, they're not trying to make your life difficult. They're making sure massage is appropriate for you and your pregnancy.
Rashes, Cuts, Bruises
Your massage therapist still may take your booking if you have these, but just massage around the areas affected. If you are on blood thinners or any medication that can cause bruising, your therapist will probably not do a deep tissue style massage. Again, if you have DVT, your therapist won't massage you.
With rashes, they will probably want to know what caused it to ensure any essential oils or products won't irritate other parts of your skin. Please let your therapist know of any allergies you may have.
Professional Reasons
Scope Of Practice
Different massage therapists are trained in different styles of massage, and some massage styles require further professional training that your therapist may not have.
For example, pregnancy massage and lymphatic drainage are often not taught at the Certificate IV level of massage. Similarly your therapist may not feel they are suited to the style of massage you are after. A therapist that is purely a relaxation massage therapist may not feel they could give you a really great deep tissue sports massage.
Fully Booked
Often really great therapists get booked out in advance, especially if they already have a large number of regular clients. Last minute on the day massages can sometimes be hard to find.
It's always a good idea to book in advance, and if you are a regular client, to rebook after your massage.
Punctuality. Frequently Cancelling And Hygiene
Sometimes things happen. There is huge traffic on the motorway and you are delayed. Or your child comes home from school sick and you just can't make your massage appointment.
These things happen, but if you frequently are late or cancel, don't expect your massage therapist to keep taking your bookings. If you are late, your treatment may be cut short as the therapist will often have other commitments afterwards.
Similarly hygiene. No one likes to massage someone who hasn't showered recently (nuf said).
You Are Very Drunk
If you are very drunk, having a massage is not going to end well.
If you've had one drink with lunch or a glass of wine with dinner, that's quite different from arriving for your massage obviously intoxicated. But if you've had a lot to drink, your massage therapist may decide not to massage you.
Alcohol can affect your judgement, coordination and ability to communicate clearly. That's important during a massage because your therapist needs you to be able to give informed consent, tell them if the pressure is uncomfortable and communicate if something doesn't feel right.
Being very intoxicated can also make it harder for you to safely get on and off the massage table — and there's always the possibility you're going to feel sick halfway through your treatment. Nobody wants that.
If you've had a huge night the night before and you're feeling awful, nauseous or dehydrated, you may also find that lying on a massage table for an hour isn't nearly as enjoyable as you imagined.
So do yourself, and your massage therapist, a favour. If you're very drunk, save the massage for another day.
You Ask For "Extras"
As professional massage therapists, we have heard every euphemism for sex work. Tantric massage, sensual massage, extras, you name it, we've heard it. So if you use any of these phrases you are likely to be turned down.
Great massage therapists go through many years of training to do what we do in a professional and safe manner. If you are after other services, please don't contact massage therapists for these.
So Why Won't My Massage Therapist Massage Me?
Most massage therapists don't like turning away clients. But sometimes saying no is simply part of being a professional massage therapist.
It might be because massage isn't appropriate for you that day, your therapist needs more information or medical clearance, the treatment you're asking for is outside their scope of practice, or they're simply fully booked.
And occasionally, as you've now discovered, there are some very different reasons!
After more than 20 years working as a massage therapist, I've learned that a good massage isn't just about knowing how to massage someone. It's also about knowing when not to.
— Ali Saoirse, Founder of Ripple Massage
